It’s not easy being away from your parter for any amount of time, and this is especially so when it comes to long distance relationships. Now, I don’t know whether mine could be considered long-distance (at what distance does it become ‘long’?) as we’re only about 100 miles away, but we now only get to see one another every few weeks. So to go from living together and seeing each other every day, to our new arrangement of ‘trying to make it work’ can really get you down at times. As we speak (I type) the last time I saw my boyfriend was over a month ago now – him being busy with work, and me finishing my degree – and whilst I do miss him so much, there are a few things we do to make it all a little more bearable.
1: Make time for a phone call
Now I know this isn’t always possible as some long-distances come with a hefty call cost, but this point isn’t necessarily limited to phone calls; there are apps or services out there that allow for free or cheaper audio and video calling. Skype, for example, is always a great alternative. Now, my boyfriend is living with his sister at the moment and with working and helping to take care of his niece/nephew he’s pretty damn busy, but he always makes the effort to call me on his 10 minute walk home from the station. This might not seem like much but believe me it makes the difference. We text a lot but often phrases and meanings can be misinterpreted, or sometimes its just nice to hear their voice. Whatever the reason those ten minutes can at times be the best part of my day,
2: Don’t overthink texts
This sort of goes back to my first point: meanings can be misunderstood over text! My boyfriend is definitely not one for texting and sometimes its hard to get more than a few words out of him, and so sometimes I feel like I’m interviewing him rather than having a conversation. But this is just the way he is, he’s not a texter, and neither of us are the biggest chatterboxes anyway, we’re quite happy just being in each others company at times. Either way, don’t get wound up over little things in texts. Don’t go thinking they aren’t interested in talking to you or can’t be bothered – this isn’t the case. Texting isn’t for everyone. The point I’m trying to make is that it’s hard to convey tone of voice over text, so unless they’re clearly making a point, they probably don’t mean it – so don’t worry about it!
3: Make plans
For me I know it’s nice to have something to look forward to; even if it is a Skype call tomorrow night, or a weekend to catch the train to see each other in a months time. Its nice to have something to put in the calendar and know that the last time you saw your other half wasn’t actually the last. Even having the littlest of things to look forward to can make things seem better.
This might seem like an obvious one, but if you trust each other you know that nothings going to happen just because you’re not with each other every single day. As well as having trust in the other person, you need to have trust in the relationship; if both of you want to make it work then make sure you work at it. It may seem like a romanticised notion, but if you want something to work then you can make it happen.
5: Still do things together
This point is probably going to sound a little cheesy, but I find its nice to do activities ‘together’. For example, lately we’ve both been watching some of the World Cup matches and just texting each other our own little commentaries of the matches. Or at times we’ve watched an episode of our favourite TV shows at the same time. There are still things that you can do together without being with each other.
6: Stay positive
Lastly; stay positive about your relationship. I know everyone has days where they feel down and sad, and all they want is to be with the person they love, which is not always possible. But being positive about the future of the relationship as well as celebrating the little things will hopefully make you feel better about it all.
To be honest its quite hard to put together in words how you can help make a long distance relationship work, because every relationship is different, and this is just my perspective – I know that it may be different for those who have perhaps started a relationship online etc. But for me, these are a few things that help, and these are ways to reassure myself that everything is going to be okay (though maybe its just because I am a worrier!) I hope that this might have helped someone, or at least been a way of looking at something from a new perspective.
Hope you’re having a wonderful day.
Talk to you later!